For the nth time

October 8, 2011 – 3:51am

Never had I imagined that by JUST reading through the lyrics of Goodbye by Iyaz, which Cherry had recently posted on my wall would make me weep again – weep for the nth time.

It's terrible how everytime memories of him crosses my mind, a tear or two would simply run through my cheeks, only then that I realized, I'm crying again – crying for the nth time.

Awful as it may sounds, but believe me, when I got to see familiar places, familiar foods, familiar acts, familiar shirts and scents, I would simply kneel, hold back and sought that I'm reminiscing again. Grasping and taking few glimpses again to that sweet, sweet past – recalling those seemingly unending times for the nth time.

Life is but unfair. How could that love fade so swiftly? Why do I miss him this badly? When in fact, at this very hour, he is fast asleep, with no other thoughts in mind but that system of him and maybe, just maybe, that girl he was blissfully talking about.

He's making it really, really hard for me. Texting him, seeing him around, hearing his voice and yells, seemed to drown me with so much pain – enveloping me with so much agony for the nth time. Though I salute myself how I happily approved and gave him advice with his lovelife-to-be, I was, for the nth time, fooling myself and pretending that I was fine.

The fact that I still miss him, did not hinder me to said those. I know what I feel. I know how to be matured now and this time, I know I was right when I uttered those words. Those seemingly jovial words for him; but appeared as a dagger to me, slowly slashing my already wounded heart, never ceases, until I expire.

STUPID! How I love to finally come to my senses now. When will that ever be?

Cute, Idle Post

Now I'm stuck here – staring blankly at the monitor. I couldn't think of anything to blog on. All I can manage to type in are merely imperfect thoughts from my imperfect mind.

Lately, I was preoccupied with so many stuffs to post on blogger.com. But all just faded to thin air and I just can't find a way to retrieve them all. Gosh!

Thus, I just would like to take this chance to feed all my cute abowman gadgets here. (i.e., kokak, ang BAO, groovy fish and my very cute hamster. Haha.) If they could just talk, they'll sure as hell complain about my being insentive of their presence. I'm pretty sure, they're all hungry now. So, I've got to feed them and make their tummies full. Haha :D

Nam-nam at Sans Rival

Sa kasagsagan ng bagyong Pedring at sa kalagitnaan ng sangkatutak na final exams namin sa mga major subjects, nakuha pa naming mag-unwind at mag-chibog sa isa sa mga prestihiyosong pastry shop sa lungsod ng Dumaguete – SANS RIVAL!

'Di inalintana ng humahalimuyak kong damit ang malamig na simoy ng hangin, patak ng ulan at malakas na kulog dala na rin ng nasabing bagyo. Bagkus, lugod kong tinamasa ang masayang sandali. (Haha, Ow-ey!)

Eto ang ilan sa mga pruweba:

Cute ko, noh? Grabeh! (Blog ko to! Bawal kumontra! Haha.)

Menu Book. Sosyal! Walang ganyan sa canteen! Haha.

Nababagot na'ko sa kaka-intay sa order ko. Tsk.tsk.

Kaya, picture muna. :)

Oh, di ba? Cute ko talaga! (Epal mo! Haha.)

Sa wakas, dumating na rin ang Special Hamburger ko. Haha.

Parang nasa bahay lang! Haha. Tapos na pala akong kumain n'yan. Sayang nga, eh. 'Di ko nakunan ng picture 'yung MGA inorder ko. Haha.

Sa lahat ng pics, ito 'yung the best! Sa korte pa lang ng mukha, kutis at iba pa, akung-ako na! Ako na talaga! Haha. Hindeh, friend ko 'yan. Kaya, GIVE CHANCE! Haha.

Kulang ng tatlo ang barkada. Ewan ko ba. Basta ang alam ko, 'yung isa, nakabinbin sa syota nya. Ewan ko na kung 'san napadpad 'yung dalawa.

Marahil eh, nagtataka ka sa misteryo ng pamagat kong "Nam-nam at Sans Rival." Well, ang salitang nam-nam ay pamana sa'kin ng isang taong, malikot kong pamangkin. Lahat ng salita nya ay puro isang pantig lang. At lahat ng pantig na 'yun ay puro repeated.

Example: Mam-mam. Na ang ibig sabihin ay, inum.

Nam-nam. Na ang ibig sabihin naman ay, kain.

Masayang pagbabasa! :)

Reality bites

I just had a nice talk with an old friend. We'll supposed to be together for almost three years now, but because of her current dilemma (I considered it her dilemma because I never wanted to happen it to her), the growing years that we're supposed to be blissful were cut short. The moment she told me her present situation, I was like, oh my! Was she just lying? Was what she said a way of catching my attention or whatever? But no! Tears welled up my eyes but I managed to hold it back. I really pity her. I wasn't and was never happy with her plight right now.

But I realized, no matter how kilometric my sympathy is for her, nothing will really change. And all I have to do is to accept the truth and well, pray for her and for her baby as well.

After a bit chatting with her, bunch of realization enlightened me. I couldn't thank her enough for such a great talk. I praise her for being so firm despite the kind of treatment she is getting with that creature. Through arrays of disappointments and frustrations she had been constantly receiving, I could still see within her eyes the beam of hope she had always asked for – the hope of changing that mammal.

I'll continue to pray for her. I hope her baby boy would not inherit his father's manners. I hope his father will realize how lucky he is to have my friend. I hope all these hopes will come true. :)

LAST to THIS Time :)

LAST TIME...

I was synthetic about my thoughts. I kept on pretending that I was strong; but behind all the uttered fierce words is a weak heart that silently cries in the corner.

I usually walked out and ran away when things aren't going my way – leaving it unsolved and as it is.

I used to count on the mistakes of other people and treating those as their trademark. I was not a perfectionist. I was merely inconsiderate.

I was up to what I can get. I don't care what other people would feel nor say about me, just as long as I get what I want.

I was heartless. I was rude. I was foolish. I was numb. I was just good to those people who are also good to me.

I normally stick to the present. I didn't mind what's heading after me.

I Love Yous, I Miss Yous, I Cherish Yous were the words I usually struggled for.

Last time... It was him.

THIS TIME...

I will be true. Not just with the way I feel but also to those people whom I know will always be there for me. There's no need for me to pretend. I will not be afraid to cry in front of the hostil critics. Being frustrated and in pain is hard but I realized, it's far harder when you just keep it to yourself. I'll be open to every happy opportunities that's waiting for me. Happiness will find me.

I'll strongly face my problems and I'll draw myself closer to God. He knows everything and I believe that He answers my prayers even before I ask for it.

I'll be more understanding. Considerations will now be a part of my tradition.

I will be looking forward to what I can give rather than focusing on what I can get. I will still not be a fan of creating a good corporate image; all I want to furnish right now is to be sincere. I'll bear in mind that everything you ask for will be yours; conversely, it is just a matter of time. Patience will be test this time and of course, the future depends on what I bring to it.

I will be sweeter. I'll be more loving, more caring and compassionate. I swear I'll be giving and more forgiving.

I'll keep an eye not just with what I have today; but more importantly, I'll be more cautious and concerned with what I will be in the years to come.

I Love Yous, I Miss Yous, I Cherish Yous and all of the other three-worded-sweet-phrases will be the words I'll be fighting for.

This time... It is still him :(

P.S. But I believe, someone's heart was meticulously sculptured by God to pair with mine. I'll wait for him no matter what.

GODSPEED!

Yawyaw 105

"Now I made it through the weather; BETTER days are gonna get BETTER."

I don't have to fool myself. There's no need for me to do it. Nine days to go, and it's already one month since we broke up; but it feels like it was just yesterday since we parted. It still pains me. Seems like pain and frustration has always been my companion.

I kept telling myself to open up my eyes and realize to love and value myself even more. FOCUS on the things that make me happy and make a new concept of genuine happiness. Happiness that is way better than those memories and laughters we once shared. I know, in God's time, everything will be fine. I will be fine. I don't have to question why God did this to me. Cge lang, I will still continue to pray. Pray for him and for me.

Just when I thought that I was done scraping all the tears I had, it was also then that I realized, all tears shed were still not enough. It was too late for me to realize how foolish I am. Too late for me since he's not there anymore.

I can't stop crying now. Big thanks to Cherry, Kuya Pierce and Rolyn Jane for the comfort and advices. To Japhet also, for teasing me a hundredfold.

Tears :(

MOVING ON

No more rooms for softness. No more rooms for pains and hard feelings. No more rooms for hopes and chances. No more rooms for tears. No more rooms for sympathies. No more wounds, only scars. It's a high time for me to move on and leave the past – sweet and bitter past behind.

I swear this will be the last time I'll be making a post about you. I swear I'll forget everything about you. I swear I cherished everything we've been through. I was wounded. I was hurt. I was left barely breathing. I was broken.

You're still a part of me. A part of my history. A part of my once wounded heart. I thank you for everything. For making me strong and for giving me the courage to go on with my life without you. It hurts. It was hard. Really hard. But I have to be strong because I know that there are perfect things waiting for me out there – things that are worth of who I am and what I am capable of doing. Perfect things that will still remain perfect despite of my insufficiencies.

Losing you was a great torment. But I have to move on. I need to move on. I have to fasten my seat belt and take the flight for a brighter tomorrow. Thank you for the pain.

Stand firm, be happy, grow, move on, practicality, for a better me.

Letter with ♥

To my future boyfriend:

What took you so long to finally found me? I've been waiting for you for the longest time and I've been stuck here, longing for you. How I wish you're here beside me, to comfort me and give warm to my ever tedious winter season. How I wish you're hear, ready to pick up the pieces of me. How I wish to hug you with all my might, making you feel how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you. How I wish to have you here with me soon. How I wish to have all these wishes come true.

Despite that, I'll be right here waiting for you. Just waiting for you. Only you. I swear I'll be waiting for you tirelessly. I swear I'll be sweeter and more caring. I'll be a good girl and I promise to take care of you better than you can. I will love you for the rest of my life and I promise you will only be my one and only.

We'll laugh through all our ups and we'll still stand through all our downs. We'll both raise our glasses up through all our victories and tragedies. We'll be happy and we'll make our relationship ever colorful and stronger each day.

I'll wait for you. I swear I will not do anything that'll break my vow. This I promise you.

Your future girlfriend,

Lycel :)

Yawyaw 104

A friend of mine once told me, "Kung makadamgo kang gi-kasal ka, meaning ana, hapit naka mamatay." (If you dreamt that you are wedded, your death is nearing)

"Gosh! May gane wala pako kadamgo ana," (Gosh! Good thing I wasn't able to dream that yet) she added with mere delight. She got this from her lesson Dream Interpretations in her Psychology class.

Poor Lycel was left hanging and guessing. "Was there a time I dreamt like that?" I smirked and added, "I hope not."

We continued walking while she was discussing things she learned from her Psychology teacher. Her teacher doesn't have a big mouth but she has a say on everything. She could talk "kilometrically" as what my friend described her. By all means, she could survive talking the whole day even without filling her tummy. She's extraordinary. At a first glance, you can't tell that she is pretty. But once her mouth started to talk, you will really envy her being eloquent and spontaneous.

"She's a nice teacher," she justified.

I believe in her. That sometimes, I regretted the day I alter my schedule during the enrollment. "That's what you get in fooling us," she taunted me. Monotonously, I feel like a rat cornered by a hungry cat everytime she dropped those mockery. Monotonously, I couldn't find any word to fight such mockery. Haha. Wawa naman ako.

To cut it short, I recently dreamt of riding a pedicab with two strangers. I can't really figure if that was really a dream or whatever.

Beside me was a lady wearing a gown. A wedding gown to be specific. In front of us was a man. I supposed, that was her groom. We were talking about superstitious beliefs before, during and after the wedding. I don't know them anyway.

As I was busy chatting with them, I realized, I was also wearing a wedding gown. The pedicab was running at a moderate speed. No matter how I turn my head, I just couldn't recognize the driver. I presumed, it was Jisphert. Haha.

I was teary eyed, the time I told him the story. He kept on saying that that was just a dream and it was not true. He told me that he had also dreamt that way, several times already. "Look at me now, I'm still alive," he bragged.

I believed in him. But something in my hypothalamus tells me that it was just his way of comforting me. It was indeed, a nice conversation. That was one of those few conversations I would dearly miss on the days to come. tsk.tsk. Haha.

Anyhow, I did not gave up in searching for the real meaning of that dream. I googled it and there I found that it symbolizes a new beginning or transition in a current life. This often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect issues about commitment and independence.

I shrugged my shoulders pragmatically and finally came up with a realization that it was true. A feeling of bitterness to myself. Feeling of sorrow to everything I recklessly used and wasted and the death of my heart.

It was time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Again. Someday, somewhere, i still believe that someone will still help me gather those parcels for me. My one true love. I'll wait for you. Please don't take it too long.

Almost there

For the longest time, I kept my mouth shut with all the pains I had deep within; I believe this is now the best time to unravel it all.

August 18, 2011 – that was supposed to be a happy day for us. Supposed to be. Yes. You read it right. That was supposed to be our ninth monthsary. But little did I know that that was the very day I commemorated the death of my heart.

I shed tears, of course. Who wouldn’t be sad? Now I realized, it’s not a matter of winning or losing when you’re in a relationship. Love, trust and understanding – that’s what really matter. The sad part, however, I just realized all those things the time he wasn’t there anymore.

EXHAUSTED. I reckoned he’s already worn-out with all my unfulfilled promises to him. Tired of waiting for me in the office while the merciless me is already home. Tired of understanding my childish attitude and behavior. Tired of waiting for my text while I’m busy texting my friends. Tired of waiting for my likes and comments on his FB account. Tired of following me when I walked out and ran away from him. Tired of saying sorry though it was not his fault. Tired of expecting that I will change for him. Tired of everything about me.

I was ruthless, heartless and foolish. I took him for granted because I thought he will always and forever be there. But no! That was just a thought. It’s even surprising how he stand through me for almost nine months. Poor Jisphert. I don’t deserve his love.

CHANGE. No matter what he says, I tried to change. Tried. Really. To the point that I grew tired of trying to change for him. But this is me. No one could really change me, but me alone. That if I am willing to do so. Not that I am not willing to do it; but, I just couldn’t find an enough reason and motivation to do it.

HATE. That’s what I am feeling now. And I don’t know when will be the time that I could finally alter it. I hate myself for being like this. I hate the way I wasted the love and care of someone whom, I think, every girl out there would dream of. I hate myself for losing someone who caress and love me more than I anticipated. I hate myself for dropping a relationship that was once close to perfection. I hate myself for losing him that way. I hate being a liar. I caused him so much pain and I hate it when I see him cry because of me. I hate everything about me. Dammit!

MOVING ON. How I wish to finally get there. But I know, there are so many things I need to exceed before going there. I love him. Still. That’s all I know for now. This was my decision and I have to stand firm with it. Where had all my toughness gone? It feels awkward when I’ll say it hurts. But yes, it is. It pains me more than the way he felt. I wonder what we are now if I did not spit those words. Hurtful words. Will it still be the same? I bet not.

Well anyway, he’s happy now. And all I have to do is to be happy for him too. I wanted to cry; but I ran out of tears now. ACCEPT. It’s the best thing I can do.

GODspeed!

August 18, 2011 – I was supposed to celebrate my 9th monthsary with him

One Million Signature Campaign for Peace

History embedded in my senses that Mindanao is relatively a place of conflict, war, struggle, hostility and a venue of clash from fierce to fierce individuals.

Since first grade, we were taught that people living in Luzon, in Visayas, as well as those people living in remote areas in both regions are called Filipinos; since of course, they are living in the Philippines. Regardless of their religion, they are still collectively called Filipinos. Not only that, our Muslim brothers in Mindanao are also part of the race despite of their Islamic religion.

Recently, a proposal was given by the authorities of Mindanao. A proposal who'll make them into a sub-state but still follows the rules and regulations by the president.

The root discussed by the panel was that it came from the
On the other ha

Genuine prosperity can only be achieved if there is a genuine unity among regions.

Proper negotiation and serious talks among

The only solution

I am now a true blue peace advocate. Am happy indeed for being part of the million signatures of million concerned citizens across the nation.

Peace out!

Pictorial sa TN :)

Okay. Bigyan natin ng respeto ang nalalapit na pag-diriwang ng Buwan ng Wika. Buhat dito'y, lasapin n'yo na naman mga ka-bloggers ang aking pag-Tatagalog.

Nung nakaraang Sabado'y ginanap ang aming photo shoot para sa taong 2011. Gayunpaman, lahat ng kampon ng publikasyon ay kusang nag-handa, nag-papogi't nag-paganda para sa kaabang-abang na pangyayari. Simula sa hepe hanggang sa mga busabos ng grupo, este... Mga bagong kasapi, eh... Kapuna-puna ang kanilang paghahanda upang mag-mukhang presentable sa harap ng camera.

Diyata't, ka-puripuri nga naman talaga ang resulta ng nasabing photo shoot. Kahit na kulang kami, okay lang. Kumpleto naman ang aming busog sa maala-pistang handa ng Mang Insal para sa'min. bleeeh!

Atat na atat. 'yan ang pinaka-maiging pang-uri para sa mga taong ito. (Kabilang na ako... siguro? haha)

Narito ang ilan sa mga bloopers bago, habang at pagkatapos ng pictorial.

– Hindi raw handa, nahihiya raw. Lantad na lantad naman kahit walang ibinugang kataga. Wala raw ma-isip na pose. Hindi raw mag-e-effort. Hindi nag-effort sa pananamit, hindi naman nag-hunos dili sa pag-pose. Haha.

– Atat na atat na gawing profile picture sa facebook account ang bago nilang litrato, at mag-paligsahan sa kung sino ang may pinakamaraming maipon na "likes". Kaya naman, ilan sa kanila ay nagmamadaling maka-akyat, maka-upo at maka-harap ang computer para tuluyang maka-facebook at ma-upload ang piktyurs.

– Kahit nasilayan na nila ang kinalabasan ng pictorial, maka-ilang beses pa rin nila itong minasmadan. Tama ba? Ewan ko nga ba't baket sila ganyan?

Marami na akong nasatsat. Hanggang sa muling pagba-blog. Ingat!

Masayang pagbabasa! :)

:)

As all of us were busy fighting to survive Mid-term exams and fighting to achieve good grades, it is undeniably inevitable to copy or let others copy answers if you are blessed with such a photographic memory.

A while ago, I took my OS exam. (Gosh! It was that of a hell like one.) I read the first question, the next question and proceeded to the next page. Oh men! Where had all my answers got? What kind of pointers did Dr. Ochotorena gave us?

"The test is very easy," she said. (At may gana pa syang sabihin 'yun! Huhu) Instead of feeling helpless, I turned away and luckily find the halfway answered-testpaper of my seatmate. Hah! Mahal talaga ako ng Diyos. Weee! Sa oras ng kagipitan, si seatmate ang aking maaasahan. Hihi

All of a sudden, Dr. Ochotorena started to play worship songs from her phone. To name few of them were The Prayer, God will make a way and Give Chance. Haha! I started to have goose bumps, feeling ashamed of how I acted. At first I thought, it was just me who felt that way. Not until a brave classmate of mine confided her that he was afraid to copy because of those music. I realized, I was not the only one.

"What's your problem, Jay Aries?" said Dr. Ochoterana.

"None, Ma'am. It's just that, I am now afraid to cheat because of that music of yours," he replied.

Shortly after renouncing those words, we all bursted out laughing. Not a few were filled with conscience now.

"That's exactly my point," she said with jest.

After minutes of brainstorming (Wehhh? Haha.), I finally passed my testpaper. I was relieved and finally caught a wholesome breath. Not that I wasn't able to catch a nice one in the past days; but, it just feels so good when you're finally in a worry-free atmosphere.

Cheers to Ma'am Dean. Though my afternoon was quite bad, she made it bubbly. Thanks to her. :)

Through it all

Praise the Lord!

Yes! Now I'm finally done with my Mid-term exams in all my major subjects. I was relieved, of course, especially that the results matched all my sleepless nights (I burnt countless midnight candles; tyring so hard, murmurizing every word of it).

Upon receiving the test paper, I hastily anwered with all my might. I admit it, I'm not really fond of memorizing words, formulas are exceptions, maybe. Hehe. Though I'm infected with the forget-the-keyword-forget-it-all syndrome, I was still thankful that it didn't consume all my brains. I was still able to answer it.

On the other hand, there were unanswered numbers forcing me to take a turn and view the beautiful answers of my seatmate. Haha. I survived my exams because of my persistency in memorizing and of course, kicking the chair of my seatmate a hundredfold. I believe it was not a sin when you copy answers just as long as the other party is willing to let you do so. Right?

Sorry TN for the absent I incurred. Now I'm back to the real world.

Cheers! :)

"Liting, your crush is there outside!"

(Shocks...)

Thus was the slipped-of-the-tongue statement of one of my closest here in the publication. I was speechless for a moment and yes! I couldn't think of any word to fight such mockery.

Upon dropping those words, she just realized that jisphert was inside the office, sitting on a kawayan-built couch, waiting for her to spit another revelation.

Me and Rolyn exchange meaningful glimpse, together. Silence filtered the once chattery and bubbly office.

"Rolyn! I will kill you," I said with jest, breaking the silence.

That seemed as the starting point for the staffers to scream and yell more. As I watched them teasing me to hell, I notice jisphert's sudden change of mood. Well, who wouldn't be sad after knowing that your partner has another inspiration?

I went out from the office, trying so hard to think of the best reason I could give, for him not be upset. I pulled him out, but he resisted.

"Ali na ba?" I insisted.

He slowly stood up, stared at me as if I was the culprit of the most bloody murder ever recorded in history.

"Mao diay, dili siya tig-agad nako, kay naa diay siya'y laing inspiration," he uttered in a saddened voice.

"My God. Joke ra to uy!" I hastily said, stealing his moment to speak.

"I can see it in your eyes," he stiffly uttered.

"Why? What's with my eyes?"

He didn't bother to answer. He was silent. He was as if examining things intently.

"Hey..."

He remained silent. One of the TN staffers went out of the office to get into the comfort room. Just as when he saw us, I pretended everything was fine. I glanced and smiled at him and he also smiled in return.

"Hey...," I repeated. "Wow! Nice talking to myself."

Silence was all in between us. Except for the little noise that the students created, from behind.

"Who is he?" He finally said.

"Who? Hmmm... Well, hmmm. I bet you know him," I replied.

"So it's true," he answered back.

"Aw? No! My gass. Haha. It was just a joke. Promise. You can ask Rolyn if you want to," I uttered.

He was silent again. He was like fixing his bag, when there is nothing to be fixed to.

"You'll have your emergency meeting, right? It's 11 now, you better go," I said in a lower tone.

"It's not yet 11," he said.

Tubig ay Buhay, Buhay ay Tubig (part 2)

Bago ko pa man i-type ang ikalawang bahagi ng naunang post, pag-pasensyahan nyo muna mga ka-bloggers ang isang melinyong pag-hihintay para sa karugtong nito. Kasi naman kasi, biglaang nagsipulasan sa isip ko ang mga ala-Balagtas na salita na pinaghuhugutan ko ng inspirasyon sa pag-sulat ng nakakawindang na post.

Ang Paghuhukom...

Isipan n'yo mang nag-iinarte lang ako, o 'di kaya'y OA ako; ngunit 'yun talaga ang unang sumanib sa kukote ko. Okay, ipagpalagay nating, sandaang tiklop ng ka-ow-eyhan sa pinaka-ow-ey na tao sa balat ng mundo. Ganun. Ganun ako ka-ow-ey ng panahong 'yun.

Binalutan ako ng sandmakmak na ka-ow-eyhan. At bago ko pa man mapag-tanto na umaapaw na ito, nakalanghap ako ng isang maala-kanal na baho. Nung una e, akala ko'y galing lamang ito sa aking hininga; ngunit hindi. Totoo na 'to! Tinatawag na'ako ng kalikasan upang makapag-labas ng galit at hinanakit.

Pa'no na 'to? E, wala ngang tubig?

Dagli kong sinugod ang bahay ng aking pinsan. 'Pag minamalas nga naman, o! Nadatnan ko siyang tulog-mantika sa kanyang porma.

"Insan! Gising na! Tanghali na!"

Maka-ilang beses ko itong inulit upang tuluyan ko siyang magising sabay hingi nang pahintulot na maki-pupu sa kanilang kubeta.

Nag-hintay ako ng humigit kumulang isang dekada upang mamulat ang kanyang mga mata. Akala ko'y, makaka-pupu na ako agad; ngunit, kinailangan ko pang sumailalim sa isang matinding interbyu portion at pumasa ng resume para lang makapag-bunto ng hinanaing.

Sa wakas! Narinig ko na rin ang kanyang positibong tugon.

Pumasok ako palikuran at doon ko na ibinuhos ang lahat.

Success!

Masaya akong umuwi sa'ming bahay. Naramdaman ko ang tunay na kaginhawaan pagkatapos kong mag-pupu.

Ilang hakbang nalang bago ko marating ang aking sinilangang-bayan, ay nakita ko ang aking nakababatang kapatid, kalakip ang kanyang maaliwalas at preskong dating.

Kung gugunitain, labis-labis na ang natatanggap nyang pag-aalipusta mula kay Mama, sa kadahilanang, isang melinyong pananatili sa kubeta.

So ang ibig sabihin e, kanina pa talagang umandar ang tubig. Whaaaat?

"San ka ba galing, ha?" ang kanyang malugod na tanong.

Wala pa mang lumalabas ni katiting na kataga mula sa'kin ay nakatanggap na sya ng malakas na hampas.

WORLD WAR 3 began...

Tubig ay Buhay, Buhay ay Tubig (part 1)

Isang bagong umaga ang sumalubong sa akin. Maaliwalas ang paligid. Dito'y maririnig mo ang huni ng mga ibon at kalaskas ng mga dahon. Maginaw ang simoy ng hangin na animoy, pasko'y umaaligid na naman sa kanto. Datapwat, kailangan kong balutin ang buong katawan ko upang hindi masilayan ang lamig ng panahon.

Sa kalagitnaan ng aking pagmumuni ay nadinig ko ang pagkalakas-lakas na boses ni Mama. Tinakpan ko ang aking tenga at nag-balak na umidlip muna nang sandali ngunit sadyang nakakainis ang kanyang boses. Bago pa lang binalutan ng liwanag ang mundo ay sira na ang araw ko.

"WALANG TUBIG!" ani ni Mama.

Ang pahayag na 'yun ay bahagyang sinalaysay at sinuri ng aking utak ngunit hindi ko lubos ma-decode ang kanyang sinabi dahil sa kagustuhan kong matulog muna.

Ilang sandali pa'y umigting na naman ang kanyang nakaka-iritang boses. At doon ko na napag-tantong kailangan ko nang bumangon upang simulan ang mahabang paglalakbay na preparasyon bago pumasok ng eskwelahan.

"WALANG TUBIG!" aniya.

"WALANG TUBIG. Walang TUBIG?" Sa dakong ito'y malinaw na kinaliskisan ng aking diwa ang pahayag ni Mama (habang ang mukha'y nadismaya at tila dinaanan ng bagyong Ondoy at 'di lubos malaman kung saan mag-sisimula upang makabangon).

Pa'no na lang ako mag-hihilamos? Pa'no na lang ako mag-sisipilyo? Pa'no na lang kung nauuhaw ako? Pa'no ako maliligo? Pa'no kung na-ji-jingle ako? Lalo na... kung na-je-jebs ako? Pa'no na? Ito na ba ang sinasabing katapusan ng mundo?

Ipagpapatuloy...

One post a day, goes a long way

I'm still on snooping my way; yet, my other co-bloggers were already celebrating their hundredth and something post. Well, duh. I don't have to leave myself cursing any longer. Since in whatever ways you would try to examine, it would still be me who will blamed of for such.

Now, here's the boring stuff. In ancient times, I really am an active blogger. You would see me typing my news article here; but on the other window, I'm making my way, creating a new post for my blog. For whatever the reason is, may it be writing what is really on my mind, when there is an available computer, or just a way of sneaking out to escape from boredom, after all, it could still be summed up to, rightfully updating my blog. Mind you, I really am a die-hard blogger --- in those times.

On the other hand, some brain viruses and even academic obligations struck me causing me to isolate myself from blogger.com.

That virus and obligations, in all sense, were merely my lamest excuse that I could offer now. I couldn't think of any reason, except for sluggishness, that by all means, could excuse myself.

And the rest is history.

As of press time, it seemed as though circle of bloggers induced me with bitterness because of not being an avid blogger anymore. Duh. How I love to ignore them. However, as much as I wanted to neglect them, is an inner desire of changing myself– changing for the better.

I would not left words of promises nor, assurances behind. Only point worth to ponder with. One post a day goes along way!

J J J

The Usual

If Insomnia is difficulty in sleeping, then what on earth is crisis in waking up early? Can somebody enlighten me?

Since the day my ambitious anatomy opt to make Physical Education as my seven o'clock AM class during Mondays and Wednesdays, there started my unstoppable laziness in waking up early.

If I could recall, we have to deceive our class secretary that we're not late in attending the three unconsecutive classes that we had, so as to save ourselves from our instructor's threat which is being dropped in her list. Well, who wouldn't be threatened?

The moment I heard her saying that, a thought of befriending our class secretary so I could easily convince her to change what she has in her records keeps on taunting me. While I was busy trying to figure things out, a friend of mine whispered (I hope she could read this one. HAHA), telling me that after our class, we'll have to make our way in deceiving the secretary and let out all our convincing prowess to alter what she has written.

"Miss, kani siya ba, sayu man mi ani. Ka-attend jud mi sa klase ana nga date. Promise," she said.

I have to be confident in telling her that those dates marked with L (as in Late) was absolutely absurd. "Sakto jud Miss. Ka-attend jud mi ana. Wala ra siguro ka kita namu,"I added.

After a bit of discussion, she found justice in our reasons and twisted letter L into a check mark. Shortly after that, a bunch of our classmates also made a negotiation with the secretary.

That proves our sense of leadership and of being a PhD holder in telling a lie– a white lie I mean. Because if not for that, I should not have seen a stunning flat one in my load form as my grade in PE. (HAHA :D) And of course, many parents should have been saddened with the thought that their daughters will be taking PE 121 again.

Anyhow, that will be the first and last performance arrangement. Soon, I will be receiving my load form. I wouldn't be surprise if I can see an unusual mark there. To be specific, my Management 154. I'm always reprimanded by my instructor to wake up and prepare myself early so that I could also come to class early. But he was hopeless in receiving positive behavior from me.

A usual point of "You're too early for the next class" is what I am constantly reaping from him. While he was expecting for me to change, I always had the guts to still join the discussion although I was already 30 minutes late.

This attitude of mine still lingers. Every morning, I am usually bathe with anger from my Mama. "Bangon na dha Liting, mudto na!", is what I am always earning from her. "How could it be noon when it fact, it's still nine o'clock?", I would said. But this would just drive her to cultivate my past mistakes and I would have to cover my ears or let her redundant words pass on the other end.

I don't know how to furnish this one. Even if I would sleep ahead of time, to think that I would be timely for the next day, I would still stumble and fall from my scheme of doing things. Sorry na gud? :(